If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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