This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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