I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
