She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
