I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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