My sheets look like a crime scene.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
