I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
