My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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