I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
