Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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