I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
