Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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