oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
