Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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