yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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