Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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