She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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