I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need a beard to bite.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
