Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
