I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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