We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
