so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
