I wannas sexs uuuuu
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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