I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
