Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I am one with the molecules
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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