Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
