Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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