I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
