She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
