so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
