worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
