just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You were trust falling into bushes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
