she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
