ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize