He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
