This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
