dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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