just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
