I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
