I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
