Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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