i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize