Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
