we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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