but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
