Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
