So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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