marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
