I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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