I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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