At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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