Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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