It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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