i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
