I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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