it wasn't lemon gatorade
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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