It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
