That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
