paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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