Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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