do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
