There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just had sex on a roof
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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