I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Everyone says I win the strip club
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
