So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
