I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Oh god it's open bar.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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